PS: I LOVE YOU BANGALORE

What we call the begining is often the end. And to make an end is to make a begining. The end is where is start from. Probably this is one of the reasons our Hindi film industry has stopped using "THE END" and have taken the road of Steven Spielberg and James Cameron, and have delivered some of the most forgettable sequels like DHOOM-2, DON-2 and many more still on the production floor gearing up to be exhausted and cause if not a physical vengeance then definately a mental turmoil, we also call it as EMOTIONAL ATTYACHAR (DEV D ROCKS :D)

But if i pause for a moment and recuperate my thought cycle, I find myself in an ambiguous state of affairs and can't help asking What is life without Change? We've heard a zillion times, CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT, without really knowing what it means?
As i see it, some changes are delibrate, while others are a result of the natural progression of life. The first time we notice the natural ageing process (the telltale strands of grey hair), our first reaction is to deny, then defy and then take action to "CORRECT" the change. However, Change is the order of nature. The sooner we come to terms with change, the easier it will be for us to get comfortable with it.
The question arises, If change is the only constant, then is it true that change is one prime motivator within us that drives our mortals towards a begining or an end? Or is change a passing phase, just like a passing caravan that halts for a while outside your abode, seeks your permission to come aboard and plunge into a newfangled journey of your aspirations and stargazes?
Certainly, I realize that there's no point scratching my head for something that literally has no significance to the question of hour. I really don't know neither do I care. To me change has showered packages of joys and sorrows simultaneously. The one's that made me happy, didn't last longer, neither do the ones that bestowed gloominess. Yes, I have imbibed the cognitive process of adapting to change instantly, thanks to my parents for endowing the zephyr of independence in me right from my boarding school days. 10 years down the line, I find myself, yet again, standing on the same billet, midst a new civilization of individuals called the MANAGEMENT STUDENTS. Well! now that's what i call CHANGE.

After having lived and travelled across almost entire South-East Asia, to my wonderment, life brought me to this place called BANGALORE. Honestly, this place has struggled a lot to entice a person like me and has successfully extracted me from a place like DELHI. Well! what about Delhi?? Inevitably, whenever i come across this word, i am nostalgic. To me Delhi is not just a city but a conglobation of elated cultures. THE RAJDHANI stands tall with a legacy of its portentous and fundamental history, and as the song goes "YEH SHEHAR NAI MEHFIL HAI" you'll never find a particular community of interests dominating masses. The best thing about Delhi is NOBODY BELONGS TO DELHI, IT IMBIBES ONE AND ALL. Though the traffic kills you, the population drives you crazy, the THULLAS (COPS) will make sure they become a severe pain in your ass if you don't give them chai-paani and the weather gives a damn about your feeling...still, there's this distinctive and elegant panache about this city that you would never want to miss. For instance...from GOL-GAPPAS to VODKA GOL-GAPPAS; BLUE LINE to METRO; CHANDNI CHOWK to CITYWALK, DIESEL to CNG; RING ROAD to BRT; PARANTHE WALI GALI to JUST NOT PARANTHAS; JHOLAS to GUCCI BAGS; HALWAI'S to ICE-CREAM LOUNGES; OPEN AIR DHABA'S to ROOF TOP CAFES; BENTLEY to NANO; FLYOVERS to UNDERPASSES...Delhi, has it all. Christ...m missing home!

So, what is it that rode me to this part of the country? Destiny, ofcourse! However, i really don't believe in handing the steering of my life to destiny and enjoy a chauffer ride to netherworld. It just doesn't work that way here. We are blessed with one life, one body and one soul. We can't just let any fictitious parameter govern our conscience. This one life has to be fullest, audacious, and is supposed to be lived like ACHILLES, who when entered a warzone, victory was definite. Even if we fail, the sprightliness of a winner must prevail, this spirit sets you apart from the crowd.
Coming back to Bangalore, as I mentioned, this city has struggled a lot to lure me and has successfully withdrawn me from the capital. Bangalore has this steroidal halo around it that has definately set me on a high. Whenever, I circularize my glance, I experience felicity. Probably, it's the weather here that has enchanted a flavour of life in me or maybe, it's the people i am surrounded with. There's probably no materialistic wish that Bangalore possesses, which cannot be fulfilled anywhere else, however, there's something about you Bangalore that bewilders me, amazes me, irritates me, comforts me and cuddles me with its frequent drops of joy, Bangalore's unpridictable rains. You're like an old wine that strirs up my taste buds right from the first speck of contact. You make me feel a part of you now and i want to get as close as possible to you. Am I falling in love with you or is it that you have left no other option for me? You don't let me sleep because when you are in love you can't fall asleep, as reality becomes more beautiful than your dreams.
The mornings are bright here and brings along a message to strike the nail with elan. I smell healthy competition everywhere around, a brandish of joy and frolicsomeness across, and I've met few people whom I'll never want to part ways with. If this was the CHANGE i ever craved for, then i presume that you've changed me and changed for good, i know.

Still in the pipeline, still trying, still wondering...4 am in the morning, and you look beautiful as ever. Just embrace me in your blazon of warmth and affection, and take me on a flight snapping across my fears and nightmares. I TRUST YOU :-)

The Rancher's Widow

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great, You should go into town and kick up your heels.'

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.. Trembling, he did as she directed.

'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

'Now take off my stockings.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'

BEING 24!

“Saurav Khurana, a 24 years old lanky boy from delhi bags a placement offer worth 1.4 crores that came his way from the global investment giant JP MORGAN. Khurana a commerce graduate from country’s top college SRCC is presently in the third semester of MBA at IIM-Ahemdabad. Khurana says………”

These were the few lines my eyes fell on, as I held the newspaper this morning. Agitated, I switched to the sports column. Eyes glued to the headlines read “Saina Nehwal,20, clings the South-Asian Badminton Championship. Saina is the first Indian….” Next page, “Amit Yadav,23, scores 100 percentile in CAT 2009…”

A zephyr of anguish ran through my veins. I’ve had enough for the morning. It seems that all the achievers and over-achievers in the whole wide world have gradually moved to the age-group of 20-25! As I look around, I find them everywhere. Dreams in there eyes, Passion to deliver and a zest to outshine and succeed is all I get hold of.
Wow! The world is moving rapidly, times have changed or I would say Cars have changed and so have drivers.

As I look into the mirror, I don’t really see myself now. Dreams fading away, passion losing its intensiveness and it seems I am still thousands of miles away from success. Do I sound like a 70 years old, adjourned and godforsaken valet who has almost lived his allotted lifespan and is waiting for a denotation to leave this competitive world in the hands of a more deserving generation? I fear to believe that.

The story was never the same few days ago. These eyes saw a bigger dream than Saurav Khurana, there was even more bountiful promise and enthusiasm to deliver than Amit Yadav and this mind worked as hard as Saina Nehwal to live his dream. Sounds like a perfect love story, right? Lamentably, Karan Johar was not directing this story and eventually all love-stories don’t really have happy endings.

The moment I came across my CAT 2009 scorecard, I experienced severe pain in my stomach. Hopes crashed, ships drowned, candles lit off and darkness all around. Evil demon has overpowered the destitute angel. An excess of good converted it all into bad. I felt like a cripple. My hands and legs chopped off and I, lay helpless on the floor, smelling shit all over again. This is how I felt when the biggest dream of my life shattered.

However, I am super-glad that I am blessed with such loving and understanding parents who stood by me and held my hand with utmost affection I craved for during that tussling storm. Yes, I have almost recovered; however, those bruises have left their blemishes on my instinct. Acceptance of failure is something I am dealing with now.

Now, I stand on a junction from where I can see two roads leading somewhere I don’t really know. I can hear some voices from within when I move towards the first road. It says, accept what comes your way, accept your limitations and forget whatever happened in the past and start afresh. Well, I see a positive and a negative aspect here. Positive: I will continue to move on and excel in whatever I do.
Negative: I shall not be able to dream big and be confined to what I have. A fear of not being what I am.

Now there is a difference between accepting failure and fearing failure. I don’t want to live with this grudge for the rest of my life.

As I look at the other road, I hear a voice that admonishes me of the danger and jeopardy of what lies ahead. This can indeed turn out to be suicidal. There is no assurance that I shall not feel the same or go through all this again next year. This road brings along even more irksome hurdles and break down stress levels. It involves an all over re-construction of mind and disposal of pre-occupied dreads for a successful break through. Now, in spite of all these negativisms and grievous aspects, one goodness that comes along is SELF-RESPECT. Yes, the intuitive feeling of having got ridden of those bruise blemishes is something that has to be felt and cannot be expressed in words. I aspire to live a clean and smooth life with no regrets and unfinished tasks when I look back.

The only thing I can bank upon now is my belief. A belief to start all over again, a belief to fight back, a belief to believe in my self and a belief to live my dream. All other things are secondary and attainable. I would be turning 24 next month, and I have a dream yet again. This time, its even more grander and pompous. It will be backed by immense toil and perseverance. It will accept the failure and learn to combat it with élan.

A dream seen through open eyes has more probability of coming true provided it is followed as a religion. And, I am going to live it soon.